My bestie is the funniest person on the interwebs.
It is obvious you’re serious about being a success because you’re reading “How To Success” on the internet.
Am I qualified to write this? Allow me to answer that question with a question. Why are you reading this essay, because I’m not?
I am success to the max. I eat nothing but juicy meat, and my shirts are made of fine fabrics. Tomorrow I will do business all day long.